I see so many posts about parents of young kids asking where their village is.
And it’s so sad. Mumming babies and toddlers with no village sux, and unfortunately with our modern social structure – they don’t come ready-made. When my kids were little I remember feeling like I was absolutely drowning. But slowly and surely I built a village that made my life so much easier. How? First, it’s time for some real talk.
The reality is, no one is going to knock on your door and offer to cook you dinner or look after your kids, unless you employ a mother’s helper.
But also, and I only mean to sound encouraging here – when was the last time you babysat for one of your friends? Hosted a BBQ? Invited a new friend for a play date?
That’s what I want to talk about today – the good news. You can 100% create a strong and supportive village, but you’re going to have to make the first move. You’re going to have to roll up your sleeves and lead by example.
You just got to get out there and be the change you’re looking for.
But how exactly do you create a village?
It’s actually pretty doable, just think about the types of support you would like, and head out and do them for the parents around you.
- Invite one of your kids’ friends over for a playdate and make sure the parent knows it’s cool if they want to drop and run. Then at pick up, offer them a cuppa or wine.
- Join local parenting groups on Facebook and start making connections.
- Offer to babysit for one of your neighbours or friends so they can have a date night, or go grocery shopping alone.
- Invite a friend over for a midweek 4:30 pm ‘kids dinner,’ throw some nuggets in the air fryer and let the kids run off their energy while you get some adult conversation in.
- Host a BBQ with some parents from preschool.
- If you are lucky enough to have grandparent support, hand over an entire activity to them, like swimming lessons (dream big!) music class, haircuts etc.
- Invite a friend to do a challenge with you like my Spring Declutter Challenge – or this Declutter Your Home Checklist this is particularly cool as they don’t have to be local to you.
- Enrol your kids in the same activities as a friend’s kids. That way you have guaranteed meet-ups and a second set of hands for when things get crazy.
- If you know one of your mates is sick or having a rough week, pop a double dinner in the slow cooker and feed their family too.
It’s going to take a little bit of time and a lot of effort, and you may have to kiss a bunch of frogs before you find the right people, but it’s so worth it. Honestly, one of the best things about parenting is the other mothers.
And – if you’re scared of hosting, thinking, ‘my house is so messy, where do I start’, consider employing a home organiser or decluttering service to help you get on top of the chaos. It may also help you find the bandwidth you need to actually be the village member you want to be.
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